Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
