do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
