K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
