You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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