just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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