hotel room ftw
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize