I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
