You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
