We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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