I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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