One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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