That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
