As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
