We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
