I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
