Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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