My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im holly from the hills drunk
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
