So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
