Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
