Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
