Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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