booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
