i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
