K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
They have beer where we have blood.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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