Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize