Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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