DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
