What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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