Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
