Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
