i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
