Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
