Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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