So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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