You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
