Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
