using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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