Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
