Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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