Its about making memories worth repressing
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
