Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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