Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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