i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
