cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
