is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He kissed a someone with a penis
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
