And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you would pick up someone in the library
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
