An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I touched a dick in church today
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
