conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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