bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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