i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
