Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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