he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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