The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
