I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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