During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
