I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize